K’brin: Chapter 5, Journal 18 – A Moment Of Silence
- I arranged with Harper Hall to have flowers, sweet treats, and other appropriate gifts delivered to everyone involved with Numenon on its opening night.
- Seliana hadn’t been able to come between with Valenth and me for several weeks because of her pregnancy, so she asked that I bring her and the twins with me to celebrate the first days of Turnover with Lord Colton at Ista Hold. We all had a great time enjoying the Hold’s hospitality. It was not lost on me that the “new” Lord Ista, Lord Stefan, was still going out of his way to show that the animosity between Weyr and Hold had died with Lord Renatus, and to show his support for Ista Weyr.
- True to his word, Lord Colton flew with us to Ruatha Hold for the last few days of Turnover. Lady Amandia dutifully kept Lord Gavrien on his absolute best behavior, very obviously hoping that if she made this visit a pleasant one that there might be others. The only harsh words Lord Gavrien had for me were over a drink in his private study. He told me that Shireya had better impress a Gold, or there will never, ever be peace between us. For a Lady of Ruatha Hold to impress anything less than a Gold will be a shame upon their honor. Lady Amandia, on the other hand, quietly mentioned during an idle moment that she hoped that I would allow my children to return to Ruatha Hold if they stand the sands twice and fail to Impress both times. I instantly agreed, since I don’t want them becoming dragonmen if that isn’t what was right for them any more than she does.
- I spent time during the weeks after Turnover studying the Kinatori texts and practicing the Talents I had seen them use – speaking mind-to-mind and imbuing memories into Antiquity Stones. Learning to listen to and project thoughts proved surprisingly easy, but my experiments with crafting Antiquity Stones met with limited success. Gil thought it was because the Hynavaeth granite from Pern was different from that of Varlada in some subtle but critical way, and that we might need to experiment with different materials.
- Eurielle came to visit in early February for Shireya and Kevlen’s ninth Turnday celebration. Lord Gavrien had finally allowed K’relen of brown Garioth to return to his post at Ruatha Hold, so he dropped her off and lingered at Ista Weyr to enjoy the respite from the snow and bitter cold.
- All my wing riders wanted to give Turnday presents to the twins, but Shireya made this awkward when she started guessing what all of them were – even the ones intended for her brother. I gently but firmly explained that using her Talent to ‘guess’ what was in every parcel was rude because it ruined the surprise for everyone, but assured her that I would be happy to let her show off her newfound ability to me later. Shireya was ecstatic at the prospect of spending extra time with me and readily agreed. The rest of their Turnday party ran smoothly.
- When I worked with Shireya later, I quickly figured out that she hadn’t actually been peering inside the wrapped Turnday presents. Instead, she had been reading the excited surface thoughts of my wingriders. As she had touched each gift, the wingrider who’d brought it had naturally thought about what was inside – and she had read their minds like a book.
- Maranath’s clutch started running combat drills at all hours a few weeks later. Their night drills woke the whole Weyr, leaving us all a little tired and short-tempered for nearly a month.
- Around the same time, I noticed Corona – Seliana’s gold firelizard – was behaving oddly. I used my Talent to touch her mind, and was surprised to learn that she had been sensing and responding to the primal thoughts of the child growing within Seliana.
- Toward the end of spring, Ista Weyr begin preparing for the Spring Games. B’dir, L’nos, and T’ria formed one three-vee team. Since Faranth’s Wing was almost never allowed to fly Thread, I decided that preparing to fly three-vee would be a great way for us to get back into fighting form. It certainly beat the repetitive weyrling exercise routines that G’van had helped me come up with when I realized we were never going to fly Thread again. Only T’grim and ‘Mala were really interested, and joined my team almost by default.
- A couple days later, T’ria woke me before dawn because she’d had a terrifying nightmare. Trusting in her instincts, I met her down in the Living Caverns a few minutes later. I sat with her at a table, slipped into a meditative trance, and gently – subtly – expanded my perceptions to encompass all of Ista Weyr.
- I felt it when a a large brown dragon from Telgar Weyr emerged from between and stopped to converse with our Watch Rider, who had been napping near the Starstones. They were T’mon on brown Jaromith, D’fel’s Wingsecond on Aurora Wing. His presence made me even more concerned, since brown riders aren’t generally used to deliver messages – especially not the Wingseconds to Weyrleaders.
- While T’mon was walking across the Bowl to Daena’s quarters, I warned Daena that T’ria had been awakened a few minutes before by an awful nightmare. T’mon spoke with her only briefly and then left. About fifteen minutes later, Daena called a meeting of all Wingleaders, Wingseconds, and bronze riders. It was very unusual for a Weyrwoman to call a meeting. T’gerian reported in, looking painfully young and out of place. Once everyone had arrived, Daena announced that Telgar Weyr’s Junior Queen Ioneth had died while egg heavy with her first clutching. Junior Weyrwoman Eldana had already taken the Last Draught. Weyrwoman Vanorica and P’lar of brown Andoth were inconsolable.
- This news hit me like a hammer blow. I was stunned. I found myself sitting, but didn’t remember doing it. Valenth had almost won that mating flight. That had almost been us.
- After I collected myself, I broke the news as gently as I could to T’grim. I didn’t want him to hear the news from someone else. I held him while he wept.
- Every able-bodied dragon performed a flyover of Telgar Weyr before Eldana and Ioneth’s funeral the next day. Most dragonriders weren’t allowed to land, but T’grim and I were. He was originally from Telgar Weyr and felt the loss more sharply, while I was a Wingleader and therefore entitled – almost required – to attend. A bronze rider from Fort Weyr and his Wingsecond were handing out white armbands to all visitors as we landed. We showed solidarity with the mourning Weyr by wearing its color.
- Fifteen gold dragons settled on the ridge overlooking Telgar Weyr. This was literally every single gold dragon on Pern that was still able to fly. Their collective mental presence was overwhelming. Dozens of bronze dragons perched on the highest promontories, with almost as many browns on the ledges just beneath them. Weyrfolk gathered in small, nervous groups in the Bowl, huddling in the shadowy crags like they were afraid to come out into the open.
- D’fel landed in the Bowl just long enough for several men from his wing to load Eldana into a sling on his saddle, and then launched himself into the air and between. Seven mighty Queen dragons lifted Ioneth, who had been positioned on a net like she was sleeping, and carried her between with her rider. Every dragon keened mournfully, deafening everyone in the Bowl and probably far beyond, beating their wings until all the Queens had returned from beyond.
- I spoke quietly with Master Dagmar after the funeral. He was almost embarrassingly grateful for the offer of help, and asked Ista Weyr would be willing to deliver food and drink for the traditional three days of mourning. This would let their Lower Cavern staff mourn, too. I agreed without hesitation.
- D’fel took me aside before I left for Ista Weyr and asked if I would be willing to help keep Telgar emotionally steady while Vanorica and Miraketh were mourning. Again, I agreed without hesitation. I worked with Dagmar to perform in the Lower Caverns twice a day for the next three days, combining my music and Talent to help our sister Weyr through these difficult days. I quickly discovered that I had to stretch my Talent to influence the emotions of the dragons, too, or their anguish just bled back over to their riders. I moved my midday performances out into the Bowl, where I played music to accompany the fanciful, fantastical images I conjured forth with my mind. The dragons of Telgar Weyr had never seen anything like this before and were absolutely enthralled.
- After the third day of mourning, I offered to linger for a few more days. D’fel politely declined. He said that Vanoirca and Miraketh are strong, and ready to resume their duties. They must put this terrible loss behind them, or all of Telgar Weyr – and their territory – will suffer.
- Seven three-vee teams competed at Ista Weyr’s Spring Games. Valenth was in rare form, reveling in his incredible strength and dexterity. He pulled off difficult and complex maneuvers like they were effortless, and we decisively won the first two competitions we flew in. S’van’s brown Riyath misjudged distance during one of the passes and drifted too close to Valenth’s flame, lighting S’van’s flight helmet on fire. S’van ripped it off and tossed it to the ground, where one of the ground crews claimed it as something of a memento. Despite this close call, Valenth and I were almost guaranteed victory.
- A’dan and green Soralth skipped between during one of the competitions, and hit T’ria and Selenath when they returned. They came out at the wrong place, flying perpendicular instead of parallel to Selenath. The blow didn’t look that bad, but it threw Selenath into a flat spin – something that’s very difficult to recover from at low altitudes. She disappeared between a few heartbeats later. Every pair of eyes watched the skies as three seconds passed, then more, and then the dragons started keening after about thirty. Seliana put her head on my shoulder and whispered, “Oh, K’brin.” T’ria and Selenath were gone forever, lost between in the blink of an eye.
- Logical, rational thought was lost to me. Acting purely on instinct, I grabbed Seliana as tears started to fall. There was no one on Pern that I knew better than T’ria. We had known each other since we were children. We had grown up at Harper and Healer Halls together. She had been my first accomplice on many amazing adventures. We had even taken our first assignments together at Keroon Hold. We had built a good life there despite everything: despite the dreadful return of Threadfall, despite deadly fevers and fluxes that claimed all too many lives in the overcrowded Holds that first desperate Turn, despite the gnawing hunger we suffered every single day so that everyone could eat at least a little. Toria had been my wife. We had even stood the sands together, Impressed together, raised our dragonlings together. There are no stronger bonds in all of Pern than these. And, suddenly, she was gone – leaving a jagged, T’ria-shaped hole.
- I was in no condition to notice, but they tell me about another minute and a half passed before two things happened at the same instant: Selenath popped back in over Ista Weyr freezing cold but alive, and Shireya passed out and slumped slowly to the ground. Seliana forced me back to reality by grabbing my jaw and firmly but gently turning my head to see my daughter laying on the ground. “K’brin, your daughter needs you.”
- I ran to Shireya in a blind panic, filled with abject terror that I had somehow lost two of the great loves of my life in a single day. I gasped a ragged sigh of relief when I found her breathing steady, her heartbeat slow but regular. She seemed impossibly small and delicate, almost weightless, as I carefully picked her up and carried her to the Infirmary.
- They carried T’ria in a couple of minutes later. She was unconscious and suffering minor frostbite on her cheeks and fingertips from having been between for so long. Valenth and I had been almost guaranteed to win the Spring Games this Turn, but I couldn’t bear to leave the infirmary with Shireya and T’ria both still unconscious.
- B’dir had Borheth interrogate Selenath. From what he could figure out, T’ria had taken a head wound when A’dan’s green Soralth hit Selenath. T’ria had remembered she was supposed to tell her dragon to jump between to avoid hitting the rim, but had given a bad visualization because of her concussion. Selenath had jumped between anyway and become lost. When Kevlen realized they weren’t coming back, he concentrated hard and pushed a mental image of Ista Weyr’s bowl from the Starstones to Shireya, and told her to order Selenath home. Shireya then reached out with her mind, found Selenath between, and told her to jump to the visualization point Kevlen had provided. She’d passed out from the tremendous mental effort of projecting her mind so far.
- At the end of the day, S’van’s three-vee team took first place. Both B’dir’s and my teams were missing riders, after all.
- I slept on a cot in the infirmary that night. T’ria woke up a couple of times, dazed and disoriented. Master Healer Rianne said this was perfectly normal, and should pass in a few days. Shireya woke during the middle of the night, seemed fine, and then woke with the rest of the Weyr the next morning. She was fully recovered. T’ria, on the other hand, was restricted from flying for a week and from jumping between for a whole month.
- A few days later, Daena asked me to attend a formal announcement at Fort Weyr. She thought this would be a good way to get them used to my presence again, after what had happened with the twins. V’dos was eager to come with me so he could catch up with some of his friends, but I was surprised when T’ria also asked to come. Like L’nos, I thought she would have been reluctant to visit a Weyr that bore her such ill will. Maybe she just didn’t realize the danger she would have been in if she had left my side.
- Fort Weyr held a formal ceremony to announce that Jonara of gold Feyneth was stepping down as Weyrwoman. Elowen of gold Zireth, who was 31, was replacing her. Laena of gold Chelbeth, who was 58, was being passed over for promotion because she was really too old. Fort Hold didn’t want to have another big change in leadership when she would have had to step down in only a few Turns. S’gar will remain Weyrleader until Zireth’s next mating flight. Most of Fort was secretly, quietly, happy to have a young, strong Weyrwoman again.
- A couple of weeks later, T’ria came to my office one afternoon to speak with me privately. She asked if she could take Shireya to Keroon to go runnerbeast riding. I was glad to see her taking an interest in my children, but this interest – and initiating something – were out of character for her. I dug into the request. Faranth’s Wing had been talking amongst themselves, and they were deeply concerned for Shireya’s future. Ista Weyr was already deeply enamored with, and protective of, my children simply because of who they are. Now, though, Shireya has proven that she can reach dragons between with her mind and even send them valid visualization points. Ista Weyr is coming to think of her as their next Weyrwoman, and the Will of the Weyr is a powerful thing. My wingriders want Shireya to have a choice.
- I was stunned into silence by this revelation. I immediately agreed that T’ria should take Shireya and Kevlen runnerbeast riding, but knew this wouldn’t be enough. I found Daena working with Headwoman Oswina in the Lower Caverns a few minutes later. She knew it was something serious because I hadn’t asked Valenth to ask Liviath where she was; I had simply reached out with my mind and followed the trail of Daena-ness to where she was. Daena was surprisingly receptive to my idea of fostering the twins at several different places, so they could experience other lifestyles and other ways of thinking before they Impressed and were forever tied to Ista Weyr. Dragonlings are a tremendous responsibility, leaving no room for guesting at Holds, training at Halls, or much of anything else really.
- I met with Masterharper Cameron the next day. My request for a sizable personal favor made him understandably wary, but his face lit with undisguised delight when I asked him if he would task his Harpers with keeping an eye on my Talented children and insuring that they continue their studies while I fostered them with several Holds. In a rush of uncharacteristic emotion, he gushed, “K’brin, you’re doing the right thing. I know you’re no longer my apprentice, but… I’m still proud of you.” He clapped me on the shoulder, and assured me that he would make certain that his Harpers helped keep my children grounded and keep up with their education.
- A few days later, a ripple of excitement flowed through Ista Weyr as the weyrfolk noticed that Liviath was a more vivid shade of gold than normal. Most bronzes and all the younger browns were ordered to leave Ista Weyr the next morning. She was going to rise. When I asked Seliana if she wanted us to leave with the bronzes and browns, she pointedly reminded me that she wasn’t too pregnant to have sex yet. She still liked the thought of spending a day and a half in bed together. G’mar won the mating flight that afternoon.
- A couple days after that, Seliana asked my wingriders over dinner if they would help build a nursery in the corner of her quarters. Everyone volunteered, albeit with different levels of enthusiasm. Most of my wing riders helped smooth and whitewash the stone to make it easier to keep clean. We painted the ceiling the dark blue of a summer night sky, and I spent the better part of a day on my back carefully painting Pern’s now-familiar constellations. Gil carefully adjusted the air vents for the right amount of flow. M’din and I found a beautiful, old linen cabinet and refinished it. He also helped me refurbish a crib, and carve and paint a colorful mobile of dragons and musical notes to hang over it.
- I stumbled across G’mar telling L’nos to free as much of my schedule as possible for the first few months of child-rearing, since I probably wouldn’t want to do it again after that. L’nos looked skeptical, but kept his mouth shut. I crept up behind G’mar just as he finished speaking, and announced in his ear, “He’s right behind you.” We all had a good laugh, but G’mar said he stood by what he’d said. I may love children, but he’s never met a man who likes taking care of babies.
